Gundam Jobs
by BubblezGoPop
Summary: The pilots get jobs, what will happen? R/R


Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. However...DUOWA JOUJOU DESU!!!^_^~~~~  
  
At the Peacecraft mansion...  
Relena: I mean it.  
Heero: I will not get a job. I refuse. Period.  
Wufei: Yeah, jobs are for weaklings.  
Trowa: ...?!  
Wufei: Jobs are stupid!!!  
Trowa: ...!!!  
Wufei: Yeah, whatever. (muttering under his breath) Weakling.  
Quatre: I don't need to get a job!!! Rashid can do everything for me!!!  
Relena: You guys may have a "job" now as Gundam pilots, but when the war is  
over, you need another job!!!  
Duo: No I don't.  
Relena: And what were you planning on doing?  
Duo: Uh...let me think a second...I know!!! Destroy the Earth and colonies!!!  
Heero: That was what I was going to do.  
Wufei: DISHONORABLE WEAKLINGS!!! THAT WAS MY IDEA!!!  
Relena: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO PREVENT RIGHT NOW!!!  
NOW, GO TO THIS OFFICE (she shoves a piece of paper with an address on it into each of their  
hands) AND GET A JOB!!!  
Duo: Pushy, pushy.  
  
In the job office...  
Duo: (saunters up to the counter) Hey, I'm here for a job.  
(the person at the desk looks up)  
Noin: Here, fill out this form. (Duo goes to a table in a corner to fill it out.)  
Quatre: (walks shyly up to the desk) Uh, I'm here for, uh, a job?  
Noin: Here's the form. (Quatre goes to another table to fill out the form.)  
Heero: (at the desk, he pulls out a gun and points it at Noin's head) Give me the form.  
Noin: (falsely cheerful) Okey-dokey, assasin dude, here's your form!!!  
Heero: (pulls the trigger before proceeding to another table to fill out the form) That should teach  
you not to talk happily to me.  
Zechs: (walks in from a door leading in from another room) Noin, when you-HEY, WHO   
KILLED NOIN?!  
Heero: Here, I'm done with my form.  
Zechs: Uh, let's see, you like to kill people, study the different types of guns, and your job   
preference is...(starts to crack up) You're definitely not getting that job!!! Let's see, how about  
a job as...  
  
About two hours later, the pilots all have their jobs...  
Duo: (walks into a McDonald's near where he is working) Hey, I'll have a-HEERO?!  
Heero: Shut up.  
Duo: HEERO!!! YOU GOT THIS AS YOUR JOB?! A WORKER AT MCDONALD'S?!  
HEY EVERYBODY!!! (Everybody in McDonald's looks up at Duo) HEERO GOT A JOB  
AS A WORKER AT MCDONALD'S!!! EVERYBODY POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM!!!  
(Everybody points and laughs at Heero)  
Heero: (through gritted teeth) Would you like fries with that?  
Duo: Nope!!! I'm taking a break!!!  
Heero: What did you get as a job?  
Duo: I work at a daycare center.  
Heero: Then how come you're taking a break? You just left the kids alone?!  
Duo: Well, not exactly...  
  
At the daycare center...  
(The tv show just ended)  
Kid #1: (looks around) Hey, how come we're in a cage?  
Kid #2: (starts to cry) Waaaaah!!! I want my mommy!!! I want out of this cage!!! I want more  
Barney!!!  
All Kids: (chanting) More Barney!!! More Barney!!! More Barney!!! ...  
Kid #1: Hey, look!!! Mr. Braid left his boom-boom rocks!!! Remember how he started them? He  
took out the stem, and then threw it, like this!!!  
  
Back at McDonald's...  
Heero: Shouldn't you be watching the kids?  
Duo: No, they're fine. They can't do anything, after all.  
(A massive explosion knocks everybody off their feet.)  
Duo: Uh...Barney must be over...Bye!!!  
Heero: I'll help!!!  
(He pulls off his apron and grabs the nearest object, thinking it to be a gun, but turns out to be a  
cheeseburger. Heero and Duo race out the door to the remains of the daycare center.)  
  
At the circus...  
Trowa: ...  
Catherine: I missed you too, Trowa!!! Here, you can go back to work, while I give Quatre a job,  
Ok?  
Trowa: ...  
Catherine: Good.  
  
At the remains of the daycare center...  
Duo: Ok, where are my grenades?!  
Heero: Shouldn't you look for the kids, first?  
Duo: Oh, yeah, the kids...where are you?  
Kids: (come out of hiding) Mr. Braid!!! Where did Barney go?  
Duo: WHO STOLE MY GRENADES?!  
Kids: Kid #1!!!  
Duo: Kid #1!!!  
Kid #1: Yeah?  
Duo: Did you do it correctly?  
Kid #1: Yup!!!  
Duo: Good job!!! A true bomber in the making!!!  
Heero: Not if he can't handle a gun. Here.  
Kid #1: Hey! Cool!!!  
Heero: When you find the right person, shoot them, and bring me their dead body.  
Kid#1: Mission Accepted.  
  
At the circus...  
Trowa: (practicing on the tightrope) ...  
Quatre: I know, I know, but I still don't know why I have to be the one shot out of the cannon!!!  
Trowa: ...  
Quatre: (sighs) Fine, I'll do it.  
Catherine: Quatre, you're on in 5 minutes!!! Get ready!!!  
Quatre: (starts getting into the cannon) I'd kill Relena, but I'm a stupid pacifist. (A/N: I don't like  
Quatre because one of my friends is crazy about him...DUOWA JOUJOU DESU!!! ^_^~~~~)  
Catherine: You're on!!!  
Trowa: ...  
Quatre: Thanks. (Quatre gets into the cannon, which is rolled into the arena amid loud applause.)  
Duo: This is my favorite part!!!  
Kids: Cannon go boom!!! Cannon go boom!!! Cannon go-  
Duo: SHUT UP, ALREADY!!!  
Kids: MMMM MM MMM!!! MMMM MM MMM!!! (Heero gives the kids a Death Glare. The  
kids shut up.)  
(the cannon goes boom, and Quatre comes flying out, screaming. He completely misses the net,  
and lands in Kid #3's lap.)  
Kid #3: Barney!!! Barney's back!!!  
Kids: Barney's back!!! Barney's back...  
Quatre: OH!!! WHERE'S BARNEY?! I WANNA SEE BARNEY!!!  
Kids: YOU are Barney!!!  
Quatre: (solemnly) I will do my best. Come. (the kids follow Quatre in a straight, solemn, line.)  
Duo: Well, there goes my job. Hey, Trowa's on!!! (Trowa starts his act on the tightrope.) You  
know, I wonder how well he would do if...(he throws a bucket at popcorn at Trowa. It misses and  
hits the rope, instead. The tightrope swings wildly, and Trowa falls off.) Uh-oh, maybe we should  
go...(Duo runs far, far, away. Trowa chases after him.) (The McDonald's manager walks in, and   
sees Heero)  
McDonald's Manager: Hey, kid!!! Get back to work, and if you kill one more person, I'm gonna  
report you to Princess Relena!!! She seems real anxious for you to be done with work, and I   
quote, "...so that my precious little Hee-kun doesn't have to work harder than he has to."  
Heero: Relena!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (He runs after Duo and Trowa, screaming "Wait for  
me, wait for me!!! No, not Relena!!! Please, wait!!!")  
  
Four hours later...  
(Duo has finally stopped, and Trowa and Heero plow into him.)  
Duo: Hey, look, a nice cottage!!! I wonder if they'll let us have a drink? (The door opens, and an   
old lady comes out)  
Lady: Here, come in. Do you want a drink?  
Duo: Yeah, thanks.  
Lady: (into cottage) MAID!!! GET THESE GUESTS A DRINK!!! (to guests) Do sit down. I got  
a new maid today, and he sure is clumsy.  
Heero: He?  
(Just then, Wufei appears with the drinks)  
Trowa: ...!  
Wufei: Yeah, this is what I got as my job. IT'S INJUSTICE, I TELL YOU!!! INJUS-would you   
like anything else? (Lady has been glaring at him.)  
Duo: (smirks) No, maid.   
Wufei: (turns very scarlet, and is heard muttering as he turns away)Weaklings...they're all  
weaklings...weak, weak, weak, weak, weak...  
Trowa: ...  
Duo: Yeah, we really have to get back to Relena...she's gonna kill us when she finds out we lost  
our jobs.  
Relena: (just appeared in doorway) You WHAT?! HEE-KUN, HOW COULD YOU?!  
Duo: Run. Just run.  
(They run far, far, away.) 


End file.
